It's a ...

Another chip off the old block moment occurred tonight.  Tomorrow is my husband's birthday, but he'll be gone all day for business.  That meant I thought I'd be good and we'd celebrate tonight- cards signed, gift wrapped, candles on top of a frosted (homemade) cake.  I accidentally opened the gift box in front of the Babe just before wrapping it to make sure there were no price tags left.  She saw, and I knew I might have a little problem.  Of course I told her its a secret, don't tell Daddy what his gift is.  Well, what fun is that when you can shove it in his face and tell him.  To give her some credit, Daddy said he wanted to wait until early tomorrow morning on his actual birthday to open it.  She kept shoving it repeatedly in his face, and he kept declining.  By at least the sixth time, she told him he had to open his new____.  Aaahhh!  It was out.  I doubt he was totally surprised, but then she kept wanting to repeat it, and I had to keep making noise over her.  She thought it was hilarious, but she got it in a few more times for laughs.  Oh well.  He's still not opening it until tomorrow. 

And how is she a chip off the old block?  I did this to my sister a few times.   Just ask her about the Wonderwoman Underroos.  Yep.  They were awesome, too.  How could I hold that detail in (plus, I was probably not even four at the time).  I can keep a secret much better now.   And next time, I'll have to remember to gift wrap away from a little person.

School and Food

I know food is important.  It nourishes and enriches our lives.  We use it socially to welcome, to comfort, to educate.  It expresses our culture and heritage, it reminds us of family.  We celebrate our life cycles around certain meals or festivities that include food.  With all that in mind, I still cannot understand why it must be incorporated into every second of every day, especially in a school environment. 

The Allergy Babe is not in school yet.  Based on her birthday, I have over a year before she is required to start Kindergarten.  I am trying to be proactive, and am looking into the various schools in my vicinity.  One tour has been completed, and I am scheduling another.  I am not looking at the educational components but the physical environment.  That seems bizarre, but the Babe will get an education wherever she goes.  She is bright, and we have access to any supplemental tools necessary if the school fails in some way (which hopefully it won't).  So, while we live in a large district that has a few magnate schools, I don't care whether the building has Wi-Fi.  Great, but not my concern.  I want to know whether there is a cafeteria, that there's a maintenance person on staff, a nurse present, etc. 

For my friends who have food allergic kids in school, I'm amazed at how some of the teachers cannot grasp the basics of the child's food allergy action plan, created under Section 504 of the Civil Rights Act.  Yes, our food allergic children are protected under federal law as having a disability.  There's a lot more to what goes into a 504 plan, much of which I am only beginning to learn about.  However, in some cases, an individual plan can mandate no food be allowed in the classroom (if a cafeteria is available).  That seems pretty simple and basic.  Yet, for some elementary educators, they cannot grasp this.  They have to have lesson plans around food.  There are so many other lessons that can be taught without food.  Even an overview of basic nutrition can be done without actual food in the classroom.  That is why I am hoping an early start will help.  I suspect I will become the educators' educator when it comes to food and my child.  Based on the principal I just met, he is open to new information.  We will see how they respond though once they have my child under their roof.  I don't want to start off in a hostile environment for my child, despite my drive to fight for what's right.  I will push for everything possible to make sure she is safe, and hope that when its time, all she has to do is learn.

Latest testing

I get asked a lot if the Babe will outgrow her allergies.  My general response is that we are hopeful, and then the various statistics I have been quoted or have read.  The key has always been that with strict avoidance, there is a strong possibility that she will outgrow some, if not all, of her food allergies.  However, there is no exact science or method to  make any kind of prediction.  Food allergies in children is a newer, growing field. 

Well, we just went for her latest allergist appointment.  Lets just say I am not so hopeful.  Rather than a skin test, she had blood work drawn to evaluate the various allergen IgE levels.  Again, not an exact science nor predictor as to what kinds of reactions she might have, or whether her allergies will worsen or improve with time.  However, some of her results were off the charts.  One in particular we anticipated was going to have improved to the point we could food challenge it, only to find out that one was a top allergy.  So how does that effect our life?  Well, nothing in our day-to-day routine will change.  However, my outlook on this has.  Hopeful that we can achieve normal, or what I would like to think is normal?  Not so much.  Disappointed?  Big time.  Oh well.  Maybe I can find some enthusiasm for Thanksgiving and the fact that we will be isolated from all our family once more...  I'll let you know when I have a positive spin on this.

Trick-or-Lollipop

Although today isn't October 31st, our town has trick-or-treating schedule for this afternoon.  Now that the Babe has once again been inundated with advertising and cartoons centered around Halloween, she is well aware that it requires dressing up and trick-or-treating, or as she likes to say, "trick-or-lollipop".  Why the lollipop?  Because I generally give out safe lollipops, like Dum-Dums or Smarties, that are free of the top allergens. 

So, how to get around the obvious hazards?  I go the simple route.  I lie.  That's right- I lied to her.  I told her we can't go to any of our neighbors' houses because we don't know them.  Granted, we do know one, but I didn't plan ahead to have them give out a safe treat to her.  Instead, we did go to a friend's house, who generously had a planned non-food goodie bag for her.  I also have a goodie bag for her.  I haven't decided if she'll get it later today or on Halloween.  However, but for the candy overload (which she's not big on sweets anyways), she will make out pretty well once it's all over. 

And what did my little princess get dressed as?  No, that wasn't a hint.  She went as a Rockstar.  I got her a t-shirt with sparkly stars on it, black tights with sparkly silver circles, she wore a black sequined hat, light-up shoes, and her toy guitar.  There were a few more accessories, although we did not include the heavy makeup or hard drugs.  Guess I wasn't going for authentic, but pre-school chic.

Saying Goodbye

Over the past few days I've had to figure out how to explain some difficult news for the Babe.  My husband's grandmother passed away, and his initial response was not to explain it to the Babe.  I didn't think that was fair, even if the Babe didn't know her well.  His grandmother lived on the East Coast, and we had been to visit once before the Babe's allergy diagnosis.  Since then, although we've discussed it numerous times, the Babe and I have not made it back due to the Babe's allergies and asthma.  We talk to her about family there, and we've done Skype a few times so she knows who, and has seen, her Great-Grandma Jo.  However, there isn't as much of a tangible connection for her. 

So, how do you explain death to a four-year-old?  I first explained how Daddy, Papa and Gram were all sad right now.  Then I explained that she won't be able to see Great-Grandma Jo again.  I think by my second or third attempt I used the words "death" and "funeral", but very lightly.  I don't want her to think that if someone goes away, its necessarily permanent, or that if someone gets sick or is old, they will die.  So for now, we will focus on being sad, and one particular person being gone.  While she and I can't say our goodbye's in person, we'll be thinking of family while everyone else is gathered to say their goodbyes.

Surprise!

Payback 30 plus years later....I was generally the good one (sorry to my older sister, but we know its true).  I didn't cause many waves as a child.  However, the one thing I did do when I was little, and really enjoyed, was jumping out at my mother and yell, "surprise".  I was pretty good at it, too.  Well, my little one just got me.  Apparently, its not so much fun for the one receiving the surprise.

Unique

How do I know the Babe is my child?  Within minutes of her being born, I looked across the delivery room at her, and immediately saw a strong resemblance with a family member.  When I finally got to hold her, I noted her scent, and every time the nurses brought her back to me, there was no question she was mine (despite her ankle bracelet somehow coming loose).  My husband thought I was making that up, but she was unique, and still is, to me. 

How do I know the Babe is my child?  She loves telling jokes that she finds hilarious...and the rest of us don't get.  Yepp, that's pretty much how I used to (ok, and sometimes still do) tell jokes. 

While she may have different coloring than me (she's fair, blond, and blue-eyed, and I'm a brunette with brown eyes), the shape of her face is starting to look like mine.  It doesn't mean she'll look like me as an adult, although the matrilineal line of my family shares a strong family resemblance (translation= if you're a female on my mom's side, we all look similar).  No matter who she resembles as she gets older, she is unique.