Let me clarify some things regarding my prior post. I do enjoy being home and very much appreciate the time I have with my daughter. However, I miss being seen as more than just a mommy. When I meet new people, no one asks what I did before I had her. Its as if time is divided. Once I had her, part of me was put on a shelf.
My grandmother gets a kick out of the fact that I now cook, and enjoy it. When I was about 14, I said I didn't want to cook or bake, and wanted a house-husband. I didn't think I was going to be Miss Career-Woman, but knew I wanted to be a lawyer, and was not particularly good at baking (nor did I like to clean my bedroom). Now I'd just be happy with a little house-hold help.
Most of the time I'm right where I want to be. But there are times when I see my former self and miss that confidence and pride doing what I did, using a different part of my brain. I miss getting dressed and being put together. Nothing is stopping me now from that except myself. Sleep deprivation, wanting to be comfortable, needing to wear washable versus dry-cleanable clothes, are but a few reasons. And if its just the two of us all day, who cares if I have makeup on? (Well, only my mother who believes one shouldn't leave the house without lipstick.) So on days when I get to blow dry my hair, spend a few minutes on my make-up, and wear something more than just a t-shirt or casual sweater, I feel better. I know these are only surface things, but they do give me a boost. With that said, time to go watch some cartoons with my Allergy Babe.
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