A Passover Specialty?

Ludefisk Turkey anyone?  Ok, that sounds absolutely disgusting.  It also does not exist.  However, the idea popped up in a conversation this morning with my mother.  Clearly my coffee hasn't kicked in (and she doesn't drink any), so we must have been getting a little goofy. 

This bizarre idea started out by me telling my mother that the turkey I plan to make for tonight's Seder had not defrosted.  I thought three + days in the refrigerator would have been sufficient, but was clearly wrong.  When we checked it late last night, it was still solid as a rock.  So here's the first unusual thing I did.  I went on Butterball's website.  Butterball does not sell kosher turkeys, nor do you combine butter (dairy) with meat or poultry in Kosher cooking.  However, I am aware they have a hotline, and thought there might be a tip on faster defrosting on their website.  Sure enough, they even have a calculator.  So based on my 16.88 lb turkey, I needed over 4 days to defrost it.  Well, I don't have four days now.  The other option was to defrost it in cold water.  Again, based on their calculation, that would require eight hours.  So I got up at 6 a.m. to start the process.

Now back to the idea of Ludefisk.  My mother reminded me that I needed to rinse the turkey off before I cook it (something I had planned).  I told her of course I was going to wash it, to which she hesitantly told me not to use soap.  I sarcastically responded that I was going to use soap and water, and then relieved her worry and said I was joking.  Then after a moment I proceeded to tell her I planned instead to use bleach, wouldn't that work?!  You could hear her horror across the phone.  And that is where I came up with Ludefisk Turkey.  Ludefisk is a Scandinavian dish made specially for Christmas.  It is cod soaked in lye.  It is toxic if not prepared properly, and supposedly is an "acquired" taste (aka absolutely disgusting to 99.9% of the population).  So bleach or lye with turkey- DO NOT TRY!  One, it would probably kill you.  And two, if it didn't, it would be beyond disgusting.