Stupid is a Bad Word

As you may have noticed, the Babe is quite vocal, rarely shy, and as some might say, precocious.  About a week after her visit to the eye doctor, we received a nice letter in the mail from their office.  No, it wasn't a bill or a prescription.  Apparently, my child was chosen as the "patient of the week".  Based on the letter, they sit and discuss the week's patients, and based on everyone's feedback, pick a patient that they all enjoyed or thought fondly of.  Considering she had them all laughing at what she had to say (and borderline embarrassing me), I am not surprised.  It was a nice gesture.

As for other recent events, the Babe attended her very first kid's birthday party.  My sister held my niece's party at a dance studio, and did not bring in any food until after we left.  All the kids washed hands before the class, too.  The Babe had fun dancing with her cousin, although wasn't entirely willing to share the spotlight.  There was a touch of jealousy that she was not the birthday girl.  The Babe was entertaining though.  This particular studio had an observation area with a window.  Unlike where the Babe goes for her own ballet classes, which has two-way mirrored windows (she can't see through unless up against the glass), this studio had regular glass.  That meant the Babe kept turning around to smile, wave, and/or give a thumbs-up gesture.  The rest of the little girls in the room were more intent on the lesson, rather than the audience.  The Babe definitely likes to perform.  She had fun, and we appreciated the effort my sister took to make sure it was safe for us to join in.

And lastly, we need to work on certain public skills of the Babe.  She needs to learn not to tell everyone our personal business, and secondly, not to correct adults.  Once again she wanted to tell random strangers about our new car, or that we don't celebrate Christmas, or even our phone number (this occurred when a person in a grocery store gave the clerk her phone number for her loyalty card, so the Babe volunteered it when we were getting checked out).  The most recent embarrassment though was while checking out at the photo department at Walgreens.  The young clerk was complaining to her customer, and said the system was sometimes "stupid".  The Babe immediately piped up to say, "stupid is a bad word".  Then, we were next and she made sure to lean up against the counter and tell the clerk again.  Yes, stupid is a bad word when you're 4 and you say that about friends or someone else just to say it.  So, to avoid a hurtful comment, we told her it was a bad word.  Except now everytime my husband or I refer to something as stupid, she corrects us.  And now that extends to strangers.  Something new to work on- little people should not correct adults.  I'm starting to sound like my grandfather, but apparently, he was right.

Miss Mouth

The Babe is a social butterfly.  We don't get out much, and when we do, she wants to talk to everyone.  Today she had her very first eye exam.  Let's just say she over-shared.  And while it was cute, and amused everyone on the doctor's staff, some of it I would have rather she kept to herself.  The two top moments were:

She asked the doctor if he knew what her Mommy called her Daddy.  While we don't engage in name-calling around here, I was worried.  Now, she could have said something cute.  Anything bad hopefully she hasn't been around to hear (not that I'd ever call my husband a bad name...).  When she told him, boy was I relieved, because her response was Daddy's first name.  Phew!

The second moment came when the exam was done, and the doctor was saying goodbye.  He wished her a Merry Christmas.  Well, we've been having some issues here lately regarding Christmas and Hanukkah.  The Babe keeps asking about when Santa is coming, and can we have a tree.  We're Jewish, so that means explanations about how we celebrate Hanukkah instead.  So, in response to the doctor, she very harshly informed him that we do not celebrate Christmas.  He looked startled, I think more from the anger, not the message.  Then after a minute she told him she celebrates Hanukkah.  It was a tad awkward.  Apparently, we need to work on how to respond when someone wishes us a Merry Christmas.

I have to figure out how to make her understand that we don't just volunteer random information (like when she told him out of the blue about the new car we just bought).  She wants to be like the grown-ups, but doesn't understand that not all adult conversations are meant to include children, and not all information needs to be shared.  Its not that these things are secret, but they are private or personal matters that strangers do not need to know.  And that raises the issue of who is a stranger, and if they are safe to talk to, what topics are appropriate.  Oye!

Giving Thanks

Today may be just another day in our allergy house, but we must remember to be thankful for what we have.  While my husband, daughter and I will be celebrating this Thanksgiving just the three of us, we have much to be appreciative of.  I am trying not to dwell on what I cannot change, and focus instead on what we have to be thankful for.  The list is long, and we are fortunate for what we have.  I hope you are also able to celebrate with those you love, and remember that which is good in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  I have wonderful memories of celebrating with my family, enjoying the company and the food.  This year my husband and I have chosen to celebrate at home.  The Babe does not know what it is like to be at a large Thanksgiving gathering.  Her first Thanksgiving was before we knew of food allergies, and she was only an infant, so she has no memory of the event.  The second Thanksgiving she got ill right before we were supposed to travel, so it was just the three of us at home in Arkansas (many miles from any family).  Her third Thanksgiving we attempted to join my side of the family.  It was supposed to be a safe celebration, but we had to leave thirty minutes after arriving when she sprouted hives.  That was after driving over an hour to my parents house, and before we were even able to eat.  Hence, our reluctance to join a large family gathering. 

Earlier today while on the phone with my mother, the Babe looked like she had a light bulb moment.  She told me that we should have my family (as in my parents) over to celebrate on Thanksgiving.  Sounds like a good plan, but my mother is hosting our extended family at her house.  After all the prep, cooking and hosting, I know my parents will be too exhausted to drive the hour to us.  I don't want to disappoint the Babe, but its going to be a quiet day.  We'll probably watch the parade in the morning, and I'll be cooking all afternoon (and perhaps shopping a little on the internet). 

While I try to celebrate holidays with the Babe, its not like how it was when I was a child.  She doesn't get to experience the wonderful craziness of chasing and playing with cousins while dodging relatives sitting and chatting.  There are a lot of memories she's not making because we are protecting her.  Over-protecting, perhaps.  We're doing our best to keep her safe, but we're also missing out on a lot at the same time.  We know it, although I hope for now the Babe doesn't, happy in our little bubble.

A Little More Than a Trip to the Zoo

We are currently in the middle of a little mystery regarding the Babe that required a trip to the pediatrician this week, plus a blood draw.  The tech was very nice, and a swarm of warm, caring nurses poured into the room upon hearing the crying and screaming coming from my little one.  Let's just say she's strong, and doesn't want her blood taken. 

We thought that was it, but two days later got word that the sample wasn't good, so we'd need to go to the Children's Hospital for the blood draw.  Ugh!  I purposely scheduled the lab appointment so Daddy would be with us.  Then, since the Milwaukee County Zoo is within a mile to a mile and a half away from the Children's Hospital, we had a plan.  I told her we were going to the zoo today, weather permitting, but had to go to an appointment first.  I glossed over that detail, and she focused on the zoo.  However, my husband and I felt bad misleading her, but knew we had to use some trickery to get her there.  So, once she was buckled up in the carseat, as we were backing out of the driveway, we told her what we were doing first.  She was definitely not happy about this, but there was no negotiating.  We had off and on tears en route, and the waterworks really came on when we got to the hospital drive.  She calmed down until we got into the lab room itself.  Then, well, it wasn't fun.  But afterwards made up for it (I hope).  It was sunny and almost 50 degrees out; a perfect morning to stroll the zoo.  It was our first visit there, and the Babe definitely enjoyed herself, wanting to see more animals even as we were leaving. 

One thing I'm amazed at is the cost of family-friendly activities.  Because of our anxiety that the Babe may react, we are leery about investing the time and money going to certain places.  It would stink to arrive at a place after a long drive, then spend over $40 on parking and admission fees, only to turn around after a few minutes.  Its not that we couldn't afford it, its just the spendthrift in me cringes.  This past summer we purchased a museum membership that provides reciprocal admission to many zoos, children's museums, and science museums around the country.  It has paid for itself in that we don't feel bad if we spend five minutes or five hours at a venue.  Today, other than parking, it didn't cost us anything.  We spent over an hour, but the time wasn't an issue.  We stayed as long as we were comfortable and/or felt safe, and then left.  This membership has given us a certain freedom to explore.  We have several more places we plan to visit with this membership, but at least for today, we had a fun reward for the Babe after an unpleasant experience.

It's a ...

Another chip off the old block moment occurred tonight.  Tomorrow is my husband's birthday, but he'll be gone all day for business.  That meant I thought I'd be good and we'd celebrate tonight- cards signed, gift wrapped, candles on top of a frosted (homemade) cake.  I accidentally opened the gift box in front of the Babe just before wrapping it to make sure there were no price tags left.  She saw, and I knew I might have a little problem.  Of course I told her its a secret, don't tell Daddy what his gift is.  Well, what fun is that when you can shove it in his face and tell him.  To give her some credit, Daddy said he wanted to wait until early tomorrow morning on his actual birthday to open it.  She kept shoving it repeatedly in his face, and he kept declining.  By at least the sixth time, she told him he had to open his new____.  Aaahhh!  It was out.  I doubt he was totally surprised, but then she kept wanting to repeat it, and I had to keep making noise over her.  She thought it was hilarious, but she got it in a few more times for laughs.  Oh well.  He's still not opening it until tomorrow. 

And how is she a chip off the old block?  I did this to my sister a few times.   Just ask her about the Wonderwoman Underroos.  Yep.  They were awesome, too.  How could I hold that detail in (plus, I was probably not even four at the time).  I can keep a secret much better now.   And next time, I'll have to remember to gift wrap away from a little person.

School and Food

I know food is important.  It nourishes and enriches our lives.  We use it socially to welcome, to comfort, to educate.  It expresses our culture and heritage, it reminds us of family.  We celebrate our life cycles around certain meals or festivities that include food.  With all that in mind, I still cannot understand why it must be incorporated into every second of every day, especially in a school environment. 

The Allergy Babe is not in school yet.  Based on her birthday, I have over a year before she is required to start Kindergarten.  I am trying to be proactive, and am looking into the various schools in my vicinity.  One tour has been completed, and I am scheduling another.  I am not looking at the educational components but the physical environment.  That seems bizarre, but the Babe will get an education wherever she goes.  She is bright, and we have access to any supplemental tools necessary if the school fails in some way (which hopefully it won't).  So, while we live in a large district that has a few magnate schools, I don't care whether the building has Wi-Fi.  Great, but not my concern.  I want to know whether there is a cafeteria, that there's a maintenance person on staff, a nurse present, etc. 

For my friends who have food allergic kids in school, I'm amazed at how some of the teachers cannot grasp the basics of the child's food allergy action plan, created under Section 504 of the Civil Rights Act.  Yes, our food allergic children are protected under federal law as having a disability.  There's a lot more to what goes into a 504 plan, much of which I am only beginning to learn about.  However, in some cases, an individual plan can mandate no food be allowed in the classroom (if a cafeteria is available).  That seems pretty simple and basic.  Yet, for some elementary educators, they cannot grasp this.  They have to have lesson plans around food.  There are so many other lessons that can be taught without food.  Even an overview of basic nutrition can be done without actual food in the classroom.  That is why I am hoping an early start will help.  I suspect I will become the educators' educator when it comes to food and my child.  Based on the principal I just met, he is open to new information.  We will see how they respond though once they have my child under their roof.  I don't want to start off in a hostile environment for my child, despite my drive to fight for what's right.  I will push for everything possible to make sure she is safe, and hope that when its time, all she has to do is learn.

Latest testing

I get asked a lot if the Babe will outgrow her allergies.  My general response is that we are hopeful, and then the various statistics I have been quoted or have read.  The key has always been that with strict avoidance, there is a strong possibility that she will outgrow some, if not all, of her food allergies.  However, there is no exact science or method to  make any kind of prediction.  Food allergies in children is a newer, growing field. 

Well, we just went for her latest allergist appointment.  Lets just say I am not so hopeful.  Rather than a skin test, she had blood work drawn to evaluate the various allergen IgE levels.  Again, not an exact science nor predictor as to what kinds of reactions she might have, or whether her allergies will worsen or improve with time.  However, some of her results were off the charts.  One in particular we anticipated was going to have improved to the point we could food challenge it, only to find out that one was a top allergy.  So how does that effect our life?  Well, nothing in our day-to-day routine will change.  However, my outlook on this has.  Hopeful that we can achieve normal, or what I would like to think is normal?  Not so much.  Disappointed?  Big time.  Oh well.  Maybe I can find some enthusiasm for Thanksgiving and the fact that we will be isolated from all our family once more...  I'll let you know when I have a positive spin on this.

Trick-or-Lollipop

Although today isn't October 31st, our town has trick-or-treating schedule for this afternoon.  Now that the Babe has once again been inundated with advertising and cartoons centered around Halloween, she is well aware that it requires dressing up and trick-or-treating, or as she likes to say, "trick-or-lollipop".  Why the lollipop?  Because I generally give out safe lollipops, like Dum-Dums or Smarties, that are free of the top allergens. 

So, how to get around the obvious hazards?  I go the simple route.  I lie.  That's right- I lied to her.  I told her we can't go to any of our neighbors' houses because we don't know them.  Granted, we do know one, but I didn't plan ahead to have them give out a safe treat to her.  Instead, we did go to a friend's house, who generously had a planned non-food goodie bag for her.  I also have a goodie bag for her.  I haven't decided if she'll get it later today or on Halloween.  However, but for the candy overload (which she's not big on sweets anyways), she will make out pretty well once it's all over. 

And what did my little princess get dressed as?  No, that wasn't a hint.  She went as a Rockstar.  I got her a t-shirt with sparkly stars on it, black tights with sparkly silver circles, she wore a black sequined hat, light-up shoes, and her toy guitar.  There were a few more accessories, although we did not include the heavy makeup or hard drugs.  Guess I wasn't going for authentic, but pre-school chic.

Saying Goodbye

Over the past few days I've had to figure out how to explain some difficult news for the Babe.  My husband's grandmother passed away, and his initial response was not to explain it to the Babe.  I didn't think that was fair, even if the Babe didn't know her well.  His grandmother lived on the East Coast, and we had been to visit once before the Babe's allergy diagnosis.  Since then, although we've discussed it numerous times, the Babe and I have not made it back due to the Babe's allergies and asthma.  We talk to her about family there, and we've done Skype a few times so she knows who, and has seen, her Great-Grandma Jo.  However, there isn't as much of a tangible connection for her. 

So, how do you explain death to a four-year-old?  I first explained how Daddy, Papa and Gram were all sad right now.  Then I explained that she won't be able to see Great-Grandma Jo again.  I think by my second or third attempt I used the words "death" and "funeral", but very lightly.  I don't want her to think that if someone goes away, its necessarily permanent, or that if someone gets sick or is old, they will die.  So for now, we will focus on being sad, and one particular person being gone.  While she and I can't say our goodbye's in person, we'll be thinking of family while everyone else is gathered to say their goodbyes.

Surprise!

Payback 30 plus years later....I was generally the good one (sorry to my older sister, but we know its true).  I didn't cause many waves as a child.  However, the one thing I did do when I was little, and really enjoyed, was jumping out at my mother and yell, "surprise".  I was pretty good at it, too.  Well, my little one just got me.  Apparently, its not so much fun for the one receiving the surprise.

Unique

How do I know the Babe is my child?  Within minutes of her being born, I looked across the delivery room at her, and immediately saw a strong resemblance with a family member.  When I finally got to hold her, I noted her scent, and every time the nurses brought her back to me, there was no question she was mine (despite her ankle bracelet somehow coming loose).  My husband thought I was making that up, but she was unique, and still is, to me. 

How do I know the Babe is my child?  She loves telling jokes that she finds hilarious...and the rest of us don't get.  Yepp, that's pretty much how I used to (ok, and sometimes still do) tell jokes. 

While she may have different coloring than me (she's fair, blond, and blue-eyed, and I'm a brunette with brown eyes), the shape of her face is starting to look like mine.  It doesn't mean she'll look like me as an adult, although the matrilineal line of my family shares a strong family resemblance (translation= if you're a female on my mom's side, we all look similar).  No matter who she resembles as she gets older, she is unique.

My Big Girl

The Babe recently turned 4.  She is still my "baby", but really is no longer a toddler even.  For her birthday, one of her gifts was a toy guitar.  The neck of the guitar has buttons that when pushed play various short melodies.  So, within an hour of receiving this, she was rocking out.  Really, playing it, dancing with it, holding it behind her back while making music.  When I called her my "birthday girl", she corrected me, and told me she was a "rockstar birthday girl". 

Another recent funny thing she did was when we were out and some older women were oohing and ahhing over how cute she was.  She let them know that before we left home she had put on her makeup and her earrings.  I let them know it was all pretend.  She obviously had no earrings on (and no, her ears are not pierced, nor does she own any clip-on earrings).  Secondly, while she has peaches and cream skin, her rosy cheeks were au natural.  Her makeup is actually a plastic molded toy lipstick tube that came in a toy purse she received for her first birthday.  She will rub it across her lips, and on occasion, her cheeks and eyes as well.  Thankfully she stays out of my cosmetics, but she is very proud to put her "makeup" on.  Its funny because my mother feels she must have lipstick on before she leaves the house, and before my grandmother wore hearing aids, always felt she was naked without earrings.  So, wonder how much is genetically instilled in her.  For now though, we will stick to pretend, while my Princess Rockstar has fun.

School Time

Yesterday we began our homeschool preschool.  The Babe was very excited by the idea of school, until the morning of.  However, once we got started she was very happy. 

The Babe is used to getting her way a lot.  Now that its time to try to introduce formal education concepts, its time to crush a bit of her free will.  It happens to all of us at some time.  Ok, so I exaggerate about crushing her independence, however, with education, one must follow directions.  This is what I am learning about- trying to instill an ability to follow directions.  Only two days and that's what I've learned. 

Yesterday when she wanted to do her own thing on a piece of paper, rather than what I told her to do, I had to remind her I was the teacher.  My role during that time is teacher, not mommy, and she is the student.  Students have to listen to the teacher.  After some pouting and arms crossed, she finally conceded, and returned to the lesson. 

Today went a little bit smoother.  At the end of the planned lesson she wanted to do more.  I found one more activity page for her to do involving a "book of me".  Its a page divided into sections for her to draw a picture of herself, her home, and her family.  This was very humorous to me, especially as she got to the part about her family.  She began to draw her baby, which was purple.  Then she drew her brown doggie.  Finally, Daddy, whom she noted has the same color skin as her, and Mommy, who she decided has yellow skin (we're all the same- I didn't realize my skin tone was that much different).  Then she drew her brother and sister who are blue.  Hmm, definitely a little poetic license in who makes up her family. 

While she's learning how to follow instructions, I'm working on being patient.  There are no outside distractions for us during this time (no t.v., Ipod, computer or phone).  This may be the most important factor for us- the time to truly connect.  While we spend so much time together during the day, there is nothing to pull me from giving her my undivided attention (how many times do I tell her to wait a minute while I finish washing a dish or doing something else?).  Now I just have to hope my penmanship skills aren't too bad, so that I'm not screwing up her education at its very start.

Fairy Wand

Today the topic of fairy wands came up in two separate conversations.  My mother-in-law mentioned a do-it-yourself version a friend had seen on Pinterest.  Soon after, not having heard this conversation, the Babe also mentioned wanting a fairy wand.  She had been given a beautiful fairy set of a head piece and skirt with sheer ribbon and rhinestones.  All that was apparently missing was the wand. 

Well, we just so happened to have had to make a trip to Jo-Ann's Fabric for an entirely different reason today.  They had Halloween costume items on display including fairy wands.  I didn't want to buy the one on display, so we walked the store looking for materials to make our own.  They had wooden dowels of varying dimensions, all a few feet in length.  I do not own a saw, so that created a little bit of a problem.  I bought a fairly thin dowel, and when I got home, opted to use an outdoor sheers.  If it can cut a tree branch, it should be able to do the same for a dowel.  It worked.  Then I took a regular emery board to file down the cut edge.  Voila!  I had some ribbon (purple with white polka dots) that I wrapped around it, using double sided tape to tack down the ends.  At the top, I attached two foam hearts, also using double sided tape.  It may not be the fanciest, but it serves its purpose (and cost less than $2 to make).  I added a little ribbon to the top, but otherwise, the wand is pictured below on top of the headpiece (that I did not make).

Constant Feeding

Childhood obesity rates are on the rise.  My concern with food for my child differs in that I want to make sure she eats; the more the better.  However, she does not need to eat every hour on the hour.  I no longer carry a diaper bag, so unless I know we will be gone for several hours, there is no need for me to carry snacks.  Apparently, I missed the message though that kids can't go a few hours without being fed. 

Where does this latest rant stem from?  Well, as you know we will not be going to any formal pre-school, because all the 2-3 hour programs have a snack built into their schedule.  Fine.  However, within fifteen minutes of my home a beautiful, brand new YMCA was just built.  I decided to take the tour.  New everything, beautiful pool, fitness center, etc.  Apparently as part of membership you can get up to three hours free childcare while you use the facility.  Perfect.  Well, for someone else, because of course they allow food in this area.  They have made it peanut and nut free, but that doesn't serve me any good with our list of food allergies.  After this morning, its already contaminated with food from pastry they served (which I suspect was not made in a nut free facility).  However, if the purpose of this room is short-term child-care, why must there be food?  I do not understand this.  I recall as a young child being dropped off at such a locale a few times.  My mother never sent me with food because she made sure to feed me before and after.  When did it become someone else's responsibility?  Why must food always be everywhere? 

While its one less place that will receive my business, its also one less place we can go.  Oh well.  No shocker in the life of this food-allergy family.

The Babe's Baby

Over the past couple of days, the Babe has been playing with her imaginary baby, Barbara.  She has her at the table, puts her to bed, etc.  Barbara isn't always around, but often enough that she's made her presence known.  Today the Babe and I went to a craft store, and while checking out, she made sure to tell the clerk and person in front of us that she had her baby Barbara with.  What do you do when a young child mentions a baby, and there's none in sight?  Immediately look at the Mommy's tummy.  Ahem, no baby on board.  I made sure to clarify she was referring to her imaginary baby in the buggy.  The Babe repeated this at the other store we went to and the local Bookmobile.  The Babe took an extra minute to exit the car at each locale to make sure her baby was taken care of, and when we were leaving, to make sure I put the baby buggy in the trunk.  We'll see how long this lasts.

Sticky Fingers

It seems early in the year for this, but a cold has hit our house.  The Babe has a lovely bit of chest and nasal congestion.  It started last Wednesday afternoon, and just won't go away.  What have we learned this week?  How to cough into our elbows when in public, and if we stick our fingers in our nose, we then need to wash our hands.  You gotta learn that sometime!  The Babe kept sticking her fingers up her nose, and I finally had to explain how we spread germs and make others sick.  That seems to have stuck, so now she lets me know when she's washing her hands because she didn't use a Kleenex.  Fortunately, that isn't too often now. 

We did see the pediatrician on Friday.  That's when the coughing in the elbow lesson was taught, because she didn't want to wear the mask the receptionist gave her.  The doctor prescribed an oral steroid, which the Babes been better about taking, but still dislikes it.  Oh well.  Tomorrow we'll be done with it, and hopefully finally on the mend. 

This morning she may have had too much juice with the steroid, because soon after she threw up just a little.  Now, the Babe isn't much of a puker (thankfully!).  However, if she's in my bed, somehow she knows how to hit the one pillow that only has a pillow case on it, no pillow protector.  And for some reason, when I changed the sheets last, I must have let one protector air dry, and didn't realize that I left one off.  And of course it was from one of our more expensive pillows.  And the Babe only puked on that one.  Good job!

Dioramas and Suits

So this may be a tad graphic or vulgar, depending on your tastes, but hopefully you'll find it funny.  In my family, conversations somehow windup discussing plumbing- either bodily or mechanical.  In this event, bodily.

Before we knew the Babe had food allergies, she had frequent blow-out diapers.  We're talking up the back (and on a few occasions, need to cut her clothes off her) messes.  The pediatrician initially lumped it up to her being a nursed babies.  Well, we can guess about when her food allergies started based on when these nasty diapers started.  Once she was diagnosed, and our diet changed, things improved.  She's been potty trained almost a year now, and for the first time had to use the D word with her.  She seemed a bit confused and I had to explain it to her.  Later, she told me how she had "diorama".  Have you had diorama?  Nope, that wasn't a diorama she constructed in the bathroom.  My child with the great big vocabulary has now added "diarrhea" to it.  Lets hope its used infrequently. 

Coming home today from an errand, she started discussing going to the Daddy store.  She then called it the "Daddy Toot store".  Hmmm.  We refer to another bodily function with her as a "toot" (I'm sure you can figure out what).  Ok, its cute when discussed with a toddler.  I wouldn't use that term with others.  Anyhow, back to the Daddy Toot store.  I asked her what you buy there.  She told me ties and shirts and pants.  Oh, a Daddy suit store!  Good to know, cause I wouldn't want to shop at the other. 

School time

Now that its almost time for back to school, I'm trying to plan things for the Babe as if she were in pre-school, like her friends.  While I can't make up for the socialization aspect, I've been trying to work on a modified curriculum.  No, I am not a teacher nor do I have a teaching background.  And no, I do not want to homeschool her.  However, at this time, she cannot be in a school setting due to the presumption that during a three hour or less learning program a child must eat.  So, I have purchased some pre-school teaching books and classroom tools, and borrowed some curriculum materials from my aunt, who after being an elementary education teacher for several years and then being a stay-at-home mom, returned to work for several years as a pre-school teacher.  Does this make me an expert?  No.  Does this give me more patience to work with the Babe?  No.  However, its a start.  The goal is to ease her into writing the alphabet...properly.  As of now she can write her name and some letters.  However, they aren't properly drawn, although mostly legible.  And she keeps asking how to write words, so she's definitely ready. 

In addition, I've been thinking about how to get creative with lunch.  The Babe eats just fine...the same thing over, and over, and over again.  My father-in-law regularly raises his concern about the fact that she almost daily eats hot dogs at lunch.  Yes, I don't like it either, but I try to block it from my mind.  For a long time she was too thin and barely ate anything so now, if she likes it, its hard not to give it to her.  If you saw her, you wouldn't know she was an Allergy Babe (knock-wood), because she's not too thin, and proportioned for her height and weight.  Anyhow, as for lunches, I also partially give in due to laziness.  Yes, fessing up here.  I cook every night, and do the clean-up, too.  That makes me not want to do it more than once a day.  So if she wants the same, easy to make, minimal mess meals during the daytime, I'm not fighting right now.  However, I have begun to research lunchbox ideas, which led to searches of cute Bento boxes.  So, long story short (ha), I bought some cookie cutters.  The first thing I did was make a heart, flower, and butterfly out of an apple.  The Babe loved it, and ate it all too. 

Then, I made hearts from toast (the attached picture isn't great since it was taken on my phone). 

Today, after enjoying some fresh air and a nice bike ride by the Babe, we juiced an orange and I made her flower-shaped chips from toasted corn tortillas. 

It was both a snack and an activity.  Yes, she would have eaten the chips in a regular shape.  However, its more fun this way (for both of us).  If I can come up with more cute ideas, I'll try to incorporate them at lunchtime, so she is willing to go beyond the hot dogs.  Maybe that will be another post one day, "beyond the hot dog".  For now, baby steps.

Straps

My father, who was very actively involved in the raising of his two daughters, was recently embarrassed by the Babe.  Yes, my three year old said/did something that is both amusing but embarrassing enough that he isn't comfortable sharing it with his friends.   So, I'll share it with you.  While at my house a few weeks back, the Babe lifted her shirt and told him that when she's older she'll have straps.  She meant a bra.  I don't think she understands the purpose of a bra, but apparently the idea of wearing straps intrigues her.  To the best of my knowledge, she hasn't made this request to anyone else.  And while in the store today buying her underwear, she was oblivious to the training bras we passed, so I don't think we have anything to worry about...yet.

Television viewing

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends less than 2 hours of television viewing for young children.  Well, we exceed that amount exponentially.  So, when I'm trying to curtail the Babe's television viewing, I usually will tell her that I'm going to get in trouble with her doctor because of how much t.v. she watches.  So, this morning I turned off the t.v.  She'd already watched over an hour of it.  She didn't like this, so she said doctors are bad.  She then asked me to draw a picture of a doctor so she could draw an "x" through it.  Uh oh!  I explained how doctors help us.  They're good.  We see them when we're sick to help us get better, and when we're healthy to make sure we're doing well and growing.  She's still not buying it.

Commonality

Today was our fourth ballet class.  Thankfully, no problems.  In fact, I don't know much about what the Babe did during class because I was pleasantly engaged in conversation with the two other moms in the waiting area.  Last week we learned we all have food issues.  One's child is sensitive to some foods, another's younger child can't tolerate cow's milk.  In fact, at an earlier class I panicked when I saw him with a drippy sippy of milk, only to learn that it was almond milk.  Phew!  The other parent told me today that she purposely gave her daughter a shower before class and getting her dressed to go- just for us!  While I enter the class hoping for the best and trying to control my heart rate, I certainly walked out today a little lighter. 

Tea Time

The Babe has been asking to have a tea party, and today was the day.  I invited a few of her little friends, bought little cups, and baked desserts.  To fill our girls' afternoon, I had a few activities planned.  I'm very proud of myself.  She hasn't had too many playdates this summer, and I wanted something special.

First, I wanted to find some kind of little teacup.  I wasn't willing to invest in a miniature tea set, nor did I want to use a plastic toy set.  While shopping, we found little white ceramic espresso cups that weren't expensive.  They were perfect for little hands to hold their "tea", which was some apple juice.  I made the banana chocolate chip cake and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to snack on.

Then came things to do, besides running around and playing with her toys.  We started off with paper dolls.  Neither mother was particularly familiar with them, and it was new to the three girls.  They loved it.  Each child had three different dolls, six different outfits, and several accessories. 

The other activity was to decorate barrettes.  I had adhesive rhinestone butterflies and colored circles that could be used.  Here are two the Babe made (with no help from me either).

None of the materials were particularly expensive.  Collectively, the mini mugs, dolls, and barrette materials didn't cost more then twenty dollars.  Granted, more than a usual playdate might cost, but hopefully each little girl walks away with a happy memory from today.

Dance Class

The Babe has now attended two dance classes.  She loves it.  Its wonderful to watch her bounce around with the other children.  Its a place where you don't see any difference, she's just a typical three year old having fun.  Its a small class, and somehow the Babe at times seems the most outspoken, although there is another little girl who clearly thrives on the attention, too.

So how are the allergies being handled?  As we drove home from her first class, the Babe requested her inhaler.  I don't think she really needed it, but after hearing that all her classmates had to wash their hands, it somehow put a thought in her head that they made her ill.  So, I gave it to her while I drove (she was able to self-medicate), and she was fine.  The second class I was a little calmer for, but kept a close eye on her.  An occasional yawn, but nothing else, until she was walking out of the class.  She was rubbing her right eye, and sure enough, a few bumps or hives were visible just under her eye.  We went into the bathroom where I wet a paper towel to put on her eye.  Then, in the car, I offered her Benadryl, but she declined.  I decided to drive home while watching her in the mirror.  Nothing worsened, and by the time we made it home, the bumps had mostly faded.  We washed up again in the bathroom, and applied a wet towel.  I tried to give her some Benadryl, but after only a sip, she didn't want any more.  Since the hives were fading, I didn't push.  I stripped her of her dance gear, and we went up to her room to change.  She then played in the sink with a washcloth, slapping it to her face and getting water all over.  After that, whatever caused her eye to itch and the hives to pop were clearly taken care of and she was fine.

So am I going to run away and hide?  No, we're going to try again.  She needs this class.  She needs something to do with other kids in a safe environment.  I will need to remind the parents about hand washing, but realize nothing will be perfect.  Hopefully, no more issues, but if there are, I'll do my best to be prepared.

Oh Baby!

My daughter has been talking about wanting a baby brother for a few months now.  After a recent episode of Dora that involved Dora's new twin baby brother and sister, the Babe's upped the ante to her having two new babies.  We had a friend over for dinner recently who had never met the Babe before (he lives out of state), and while she entertained him with nonstop chatter, she also told him about the "babies".   I made sure he knew this wasn't happening.  Nope, not pregnant and not planning on getting pregnant.  If I look a little bit bigger, lack of exercise and an excess of potato chips are the cause, nothing more.  So while she gets just about anything she wants (within reason), at this time there will be no baby brother.

Let's Dance

Who would think a bird striking my windshield as I was driving would actually calm me down?!  O.k., sorry to you animal lovers, I have no idea what condition the bird was in after this incident. 

The Babe and I were en route to her very first ballet class.  She was super excited, and I was trying to control my stress level worrying about potential hazards.  We were about half-way there when two birds tried to fly across the road from the opposite lane at the same moment my car reached their elevation point.  One safely passed by, the other struck the top of my windshield, and after that, I have no idea where it went.  My windshield survived, the Babe thought it was funny, and my blood pressure dropped a little (yes, atypical reactions). 

Once we got to the dance school my blood pressure again ricocheted up, and stayed elevated until class was over.  However, the facility is a newer building, everyone there is First Aid and CPR certified, and her class wasn't too large.  The Babe had a lot of fun.  The cutest thing was towards the end of class they did a freeze-dance, and the Babe was wiggling and shaking her tushy.  All the parents watching laughed.  Afterwards, her teacher requested that all the parents wash their kids hands before class due to one of the student's severe food allergies (she didn't even point out which child, although everyone knew based on my response).  We came home, and all the Babe wanted to do was stay in her brand new ballet shoes, but alas, those must be kept only for class.  I'm going to take this one week at a time.  So far, so good.

Going Bananas?

There are several shows the Babe likes to watch, including "The Fresh Beat Band".  They have one song that always starts with them saying they're "going bananas!".  So when we had family over the other day, the Babe said to someone that they were making her go bananas.  It was funny, and they wondered where she picked up that saying.  As if you had to ask...t.v., of course!

Speaking of bananas (nice segue, right?!), I have a new recipe for banana cake that is fairly easy.  I enjoyed both the texture and flavor, so here it is.  One of the combinations of ingredients was because I ran out of baking soda.  Its wonderful what information you can find on the internet, especially if it saves me from an emergency grocery store run!

Banana Cake
2/3 C Sugar
1/3 C Canola oil
3/4 C Sorghum flour
3/4 C Potato starch
1/2 C Tapioca flour
1 tsp Xanthan gum
1/2 tsp baking soda + 1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2-3 mashed ripe bananas
Semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Grease an 8 x 8 baking pan.
2. In a bowl, combine the sorghum, potato starch, tapioca flour, xanthan gum, 1/4 tsp baking soda, and salt.
3. Mash the bananas on a separate plate.
4. In a large bowl, cream the sugar and oil with a hand mixer for about 2-3 minutes.
5. In a small cup, mix the 1/2 tsp baking soda and lemon juice (it will fizz).
6. Slowly add to the sugar mix about 1/4 of the dry mix, then 1/4 of the bananas, and mix.  Add in the baking soda/lemon mixture.  Then continue to alternate mixing in the dry ingredients and banana until completely mixed in.
7. Add in about 1/3-1/2 cup chocolate chips.  Then spread out batter into pan.
8. Bake 45-50 minutes until top is golden.

Prescription Warnings

Food allergies are on the rise, but the knowledge base isn't entirely keeping up with the problem.  I have learned more from other Moms than I have from a nutritionist or allergist. 

Every time the Babe requires a new prescription, I ask about cross-reactions.  Her last major illness had my husband picking up her prescriptions.  We were prescribed a new big regimen for her asthma after the illness cleared up, but as her asthma had improved we held off on the plan.  I am very glad we did. 

While we filled the prescription, the pharmacy clearly did not catch the fact that one of the drugs is not to be used by those with milk protein allergies.  And yes, it is in the pharmacy's system, a national database, that she has a milk allergy.  How did I find out about this issue?  Through an allergy group on Facebook in a random discussion.  When I went to the website for that specific drug, the second paragraph of warnings clearly states: "Do not use XXXX if you have severe allergy to milk proteins".  I will be going to the pharmacy later to discuss this with them.  I'm very upset by this, and so want to lash out, but will try to do my best to remain polite. 

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July!  Today we have no agenda.  The Babe is decked out in red, white, and blue; stars and stripes.  That may be the extent of our recognition of the day, although we might take a ride tonight to see local fireworks.  None of us handle heat particularly well, and the area temperature right now is showing 102 degrees. 

A little while ago I was looking back at some of my earlier posts.  I was reminded inadvertently how much I like cooler weather, particularly when I read the posts that mentioned blizzards, baking bread, and homemade soups.  They stirred something...a desire for cooler weather.  I prefer to dress in jeans and sweaters, not shorts and t-shirts.  Then again, the joys of summer include juicy watermelon and fresh corn on the cob.  The Babe has been enjoying the sprinkler- even when she wasn't supposed to go in.  She tells us seriously that "the sprinkler is sneaky".  Yeah, somehow it makes her run right into it.  So, I'll try not to rush the summer.  

Our Allerversary

Today is our Allerversary.  Three years today our world changed.  Three years of learning and watching.  Since her first diagnosis, the Babe is no longer allergic to rice, but is allergic to fish.  Her asthma has worsened, her eczema has improved.  While other children her age may recognize the "golden arches" for McDonald's, she can identify the W representing a Walgreens. (Then again, she also recognizes the sign for Pick and Save, a local grocery store.)  She thankfully continues to grow at a good rate, with the chubby cheeks to prove I'm doing my job.  She is strong-willed and bright, spoiled and loving, funny and curious.  My gorgeous little girl keeps us on our toes (and also keeps us somewhat sleep deprived).  She is social, saying hi to anyone she sees, but socially isolated by her allergies.  In the next year, she will have more testing.  Hopefully she will also have more fun with others, exposed to more people and things, with less reactions.  As each year passes, it brings us closer and further from a solution.  That is the conundrum of living with food allergies.  But today, in our home, we are reminded of what we almost lost, what we continue to adapt to, and how far we've come.

Travel Adventures

As I mentioned yesterday, we just got back from a trip to Papa and Gram's.  We opted to drive this time, since our last trip was extremely stressful due to flying.  There is no really good option...risk a reaction in the air because we can't control what others eat on board, or spend up to three days driving and staying in hotels en route. 

So how'd we do it?  With lots of planning.  At every hotel, once we unloaded the car, we wiped all the light switches, doorknobs, handles and remotes with Clorox wipes.  We packed a clean sheet to put over the couch, so the Babe would come into limited contact with her allergens.  We also stayed in hotels that had stovetops so I could cook.  Yes, vacation still means I have to cook.  I packed paper plates, bowls, and silverware to make it easier. 

No, it did not mean we didn't have to give her inhaler everywhere, but we didn't have to give her Benadryl.  We're finding that her asthma kicks in when we travel, especially in the south.  We only used her nebulizer once at her grandparents, but her inhaler was needed before bed every night, and during the day on occasion.  As for Benadryl, well, we made it almost a week away without needing it.  She had an asthma attack in the middle of our second night at her grandparents (didn't give the inhaler that night because she seemed fine- my mistake).  Tried to give her Benadryl when she complained of an itchy throat and had a higher pitched cry.  That went away soon after the inhaler kicked in, so it really was just her asthma. 

When did we need the Benadryl?  We had a two-Benadryl day later that week.  As I mentioned yesterday, there was the foot in mouth incident one night.  Earlier that same day, we had made the 4 hour drive from her grandparents to see her great-grandparents in south Florida.  When we walked in the door, her great-grandmother was thrilled to see her, and smothered her in kisses.  So, I wasn't particularly shocked when I saw a big red patch on the Babe's upper cheek and hives popping minutes later.  Four hours of driving, five minutes in their home, and out came the Benadryl.  I didn't see that she had lipstick on (blends with her lipcolor), but she did have some on, and obviously that was all it took.  Not a shocker, and there was no way I was going to say "don't kiss the Babe" after you haven't seen her in ages.  However, maybe next time we'll direct her to kiss the top of the Babe's head.  Anyhow, the Benadryl did the trick, we kept our stay to a short period of time (the sad aspect of these allergies), and then turned around for another long drive. 

How was our trip?  Going along just fine until Tropical Storm Debby decided to visit.  We had a few days of hot, dry weather that allowed for time in the pool, a visit to the aquarium, and a dance class.  Then it rained, and rained, and rained some more.  So, as much as we enjoy being at Papa and Gram's, when it was time to drive home, we were ready.  And now the Babe is already asking when we're going back.

You put your foot where?!

Who knew I'd have to tell my 3 1/2 year old to keep her feet out of her mouth...not once, not twice, but repeatedly.  We just got back from a visit at Papa and Gram's house in Florida.  My mother-in-law keeps a very clean house, and before we came, she washed the floors, wiped down surfaces including the leather couches, and did as much as she could think of to ready the house for the Allergy Babe.  So, no, this is not an issue of uncleanliness.  This is just a fact of life with our Allergy Babe that you need to expect the unexpected.

I know I need to work with the Babe to stop touching her face so much, but I didn't think her feet were an issue.  My little monkey couldn't keep her hands off her feet one evening at Papa and Grams, and was in general playing with them.  We suspect she even popped them in her mouth.  Why this suspicion?  Because I glanced over at her one moment and was surprised to see the bottom half of her lip was starting to swell.  I looked back two minutes later and it had ballooned.  I immediately went for ice, while my husband told me to get the Benadryl.  Benadryl for a fat lip?  I figured she banged it or bit it.  No, she put her foot in her mouth and caused a contact reaction from who knows what she stepped in.  She denied the foot in her mouth until the next morning, but between the ice and Benadryl, her lip was back to normal by the next day.  Never a dull moment with her!

I'd Rather You Didn't Wash Your Hands...(situation specific)

We survived another trip to the dentist.  No, its not a slam against our dentist.  She's a very nice, gentle pediatric dentist who is very patient.  Its more due to being in a different environment, hoping there's no risk of coming in contact with an allergen.  It should be low in their office, since most people don't eat at their dentists.  However, last time we were there they had handsoap with milk protein.  Red flag alert.  When they called to confirm our appointment yesterday, I reminded them she has food allergies, and please refrain from any soaps with milk protein.  As soon as we got to the office, the Babe had to go potty (of course didn't have to go when we left our house fifteen minutes prior to the visit).  In their restroom, the soap was again the one with milk protein.  Argh!  I was tempted to cancel our appointment on the spot, but thought that I should give it a chance.  I went to the receptionist and tried to tell her in a nice way again about the food allergies, and request that whoever buys there soap to stop buying that one.  She told me it was her, and she buys whatever is on sale.  She immediately apologized.  I made sure anyone who cared for the Babe knew not to use the soap which was at every sink in their office (I tried not to imagine the little milk particles on every surface in the office).

If you don't live with a food allergy, it probably wouldn't cross your mind not to buy that soap.  However, I have to be an advocate for my little one.  And she's not alone.  One in thirteen children are estimated to have food allergies.  Food allergies...not just to nuts, which is what everyone assumes when they hear food allergies.  Food allergies encompasses anything edible, from the top eight (wheat, eggs, dairy, fish, corn, soy, peanut, tree nuts), to cinnamon and chicken.  The foods are numerable, and someone can have one or more food allergies (sadly, some are allergic to more than fifty).  The number of allergic children is on the rise.  Awareness is growing (as is antagonism). 

In this particular case, they will fix the problem, and clearly felt bad about it.  It was not my goal to make her feel bad, just alert her to my concern.  For now, I have to listen to that voice in my head when put in such situations- do I speak up or be quiet?  I choose to speak up.  If I don't inform or educate others, who will?

My Little Negotiator

This  morning, after little sleep last night courtesy of the Babe waking me up frequently, I was extremely cranky and tired.  Last night we had told the Babe no t.v. for today due to something (I can't even remember now).  Anyhow, I stuck to that because cranky leads to mean on my behalf, so I had no trouble sticking to the punishment.  Anyhow, after an hour or two, which included cooperation with cleaning up her toys, and some other things, the Babe asked for three coins.  I sent her to her father to ask again.  He gave her an option- she could either  have coins or t.v.  She responded she would take both.  He told her that was not an option, it was one or the other.  She said she would take coins first, and then t.v.  Again, one or the other.  Then, he told her she could have one coin and t.v.  She responded three coins and t.v.  No backing down on her part.  The final deal was two coins and t.v.  Yes, we are pushovers, but she is a hard negotiator.  We may have a future lawyer in the family.

Dirty Money

I know money isn't clean, but now I feel like my wallet is full of a live grenade.  I went to our local neighborhood bank to pay a bill and take out some cash via the drive-through.  The teller usually recognizes me and is very nice.  When she sees the Babe in the backseat, she'll usually offer stickers or a lollipop.  I always decline the lollipop.  Today, when she completed what she had to, she asked if there was anything else I needed.  I asked, "stickers, please.", since the Babe was asking for them in the backseat.  When the drive-through container came back, it looked all squashed together.  Why?  Because wrapped around the bank envelope that contained some cash, my i.d., and the stickers, was a package of Otis Spelunker cookies.  I didn't want to even touch it, and was tempted to return the cash and ask for new.  However, how crazy would that be?  Either way, it was already tainted.  I tenderly removed the bank envelope and returned the cookies, nicely letting the teller know they were there and that we couldn't have them due to allergies.  I fibbed to the Babe about not receiving any stickers.  When we got home, I went inside to wash my hands before I touched the Babe's carseat buckle.  Now my day feels ruined, and I'm tempted to completely wipe down everything in my wallet and car just because someone thought they were being nice.  Please, no food unless you offer first and its accepted.  As in the zoo, do not feed the animals.  There are many reasons beyond food allergies, but in this case, your kindness really can kill.

* To clarify, the packet of cookies were fresh baked in a parchment paper type packaging, not the kind that are completely sealed from a manufacturer.

Crazy!

While returning to my car after grocery shopping with the Babe, a man approached us in the parking lot.  It was the middle of a bright sunny day, so not overly threatening.  He had a clipboard in hand, and was seeking signatures on a petition so he could run for Congress.  I asked what his party affiliation was, and based on his response, declined to sign.  He walked away, and when he was a few rows a way, the Babe told me, "That man is crazy!".  I laughed, and said perhaps.  Then, got her in the car and put my groceries in the trunk.  A minute or two later, she elaborated, and said how he didn't talk to her, only to me.  Then she repeated, "That man was crazy, he didn't talk to me, only you."  So, the first part of her statement alone was hilarious.  The second addition reflects that she thinks she's an adult, or at the very least, a teenager.  Of course, how could anyone ignore her?!

Touche!

The Babe has gotten into drawing and then hanging her pictures on the refrigerator...even if its only one little swirl of color.  Just as dinner was about on the table, she decided to do this with the edged sticker remnants from a page of stickers in lieu of tape.  I went to get her a glass of water with a little bit of crushed ice.  She was kneeling in front of the refrigerator door (ice maker is on the opposite door).  A little ice chip might have flown by, when she told me one shouldn't get ice when others are sticking things on the door.  I told her that a little ice wouldn't hurt anyone.  She then responded (with the proper intonation), "Touche'!"  I have no idea where she learned that, but the context was correct.  My funny, little girl.

We Won't Starve

Here's a funny quirk.  When we learned of the Babe's food allergies, I had to immediately go on her diet since I was still nursing.  It resulted in a rapid weight loss, dropping more than just those last stubborn baby-weight pounds.  That seemed to be the only positive at the time of her diagnosis.  It also took food allergies to make me learn to become a better cook and baker.  That in turn resulted in some weight gain (and then some more weight gain).   

Everyone who hears about the Babe's food allergies comments on how much healthier we must eat.  Most everything is not processed, we eat more fruits and veggies, etc.  Yepp.  Healthier when you 1) eat the proper portion sizes, 2) exercise regularly, and 3) avoid potato chips at all costs.  We sacrifice a lot for food allergies, but eating isn't one of those things.  We eat better, we're definitely more aware of what we're eating, but alas, that has not been converted to model figures.  And as I previously posted, just because we have to give up certain foods, it does not mean we have to give up flavor.  Tonight's dinner was spaghetti and meatballs.  Tomorrow's lunch with guests will probably be an Asian chicken stir-fry with rice, and chocolate cupcakes, and dinner a curried beef.  Nope, we won't starve.

What's Cooking?

For those who are new to food allergies, figuring out what your going to eat, or if you're ever going to eat again, can be overwhelming.  I have a three year old, and we've been living with her food allergies for more than two years.  Initially, you start with just fruits, vegetables and proteins that you know are safe, with little variation, and little added flavoring.  Then you begin to explore. 

I'd probably explore more, but for two factors.  First, I have a three year old.  She likes to eat the same thing every day for lunch and breakfast (or lunch as she also calls that meal based on what she eats, not the time of day).  Dinner is where we have variety, although its a safe variety.  She's not big into sauces and gravies, although just recently developed an interest in ketchup and tomato sauce.  So, while her palate and  preferences are limited, I do try to go beyond that on occasion.  My second reason why I haven't branched out too far is I'm just plain old chicken.  If she hasn't had it already, I dread giving her something new.  Just like a criminal trial- innocent until proven guilty- I need to retrain my mind that she's not allergic to a food until there's evidence.  But its hard to tell my blood pressure that when trying to introduce something new.

So what do we eat around here?  Chicken, beef, corn-based pastas, potatos, rice, quinoa, carrots, onions, broccolli, cauliflower, squash, melon, apples, pears, and the list goes on.  The other day I made bourbon chicken with rice.  It was delicious, although the Babe wasn't a fan.  Just because we can't eat wheat, eggs, or dairy, I still bake cookies, muffins, cupcakes, and pancakes.  I have a lot of cookbooks and websites I reference in searching for new foods.  We eat foods with Asian and Mediterranean influences, as well as other cultural influences.  I season with garlic, sage, rosemary, thyme, bay leaves, lemon, lime, tamari (gluten-free soy sauce), and more.  Just because there are several foods we can't eat, there are many more we can.  We don't have to eat tasteless, bland, boring meals.  If we do, its not due to food allergies.  Its due to me being too tired or bored to change it up, just like every other home cook in America.

I'm allergic to that...

The Babe catches on pretty fast.  She knows how to wrap us around her little finger, and has improved her technique recently.  Specifically, when offered something she apparently does not want to eat, she says in a very serious voice, "I'm allergic to that; I have food allergies".  She will then shrug her shoulders and wander off.  While, yes, she does have food allergies, she is declining food she is not allergic to, she just doesn't want it.  Apparently she thinks that's the magic phrase to get her out of eating something she doesn't want.  We generally don't force her to eat, but when she's not cooperating, we do try to cajole or threaten (nothing bad, well, except to a 3 year old, when you tell them no more t.v.). 

So, while we feel a lot of guilt and let her get away with a lot of things due to her food allergies, she's figured out how to manipulate us further.  We're working on behavior modification with several things (sleeping the night through in her own bed, picking up her toys by herself, etc. etc.).  It seems to have reached a point where I've realized that she's an only child isolated by food allergies who isn't used to the word "no" being strongly enforced.  I don't want to create a little monster that other kids don't want to play with, who doesn't know how to share or take turns, or is just rude or stubborn when she doesn't get things her way.  Its a challenge because most of the time its just us, so of course she doesn't have to share her toys (no, really, I don't want to play all the time).  So, yes, we're definitely a work in progress.

Playgroup

Last year when we went to the allergist, I had considered asking about starting a local playgroup for area allergy families.  I didn't have the opportunity to bring it up, but at our last visit, I was able to.  As a family friend suggested, maybe we could even start our own pre-school for our little Allergy Babes.  So, with those two ideas, I asked our allergist if he would be willing to mention to other families with similar situations.  I wasn't asking him to violate HIPPA (privacy laws).  I was willing to waive it personally only to the extent that he give out my name and email.  He looked moderately interested, so we agreed I'd give my info to his front desk staff.  I wrote a note indicating that I wanted to start a play-group or playdates for children with food allergies between the ages of 3-5. 

Its been two weeks, and I just got a call from the nutritionist.  She heard I was looking for information on pre-schools and playgroups in the area.  Glad they listened so carefully.  Even worse, she asked if I was aware of FAAN or needed the name of other support groups that might be able to refer me out.  That is the problem.  First, every allergist we've dealt with immediately tell us about FAAN.  Secondly, I can only find support groups for parents, with limited meetings.  There aren't too many resources to actually help beyond telling me what foods to avoid and possible recipes within our allergies.  I'm finding that the allergy medical community only goes so far.  They don't really get what living with food allergies is like.  They may understand the clinical, but the day-to-day lifestyle seems to be beyond their grasp. 

Finally, let me add to my rant.  As an attorney, we are taught to ask questions.  If the question is not answered, ask again or re-word.  The key though is to listen.  Don't talk over someone, don't assume, and certainly just because someone responded does not mean they answered what you asked.  And here's the problem with our allergist's office.  They only heard what they wanted to, only provided help how they knew how, and now they probably think they answered my questions and can walk away.  Thanks for nothing.  You think you helped, but you didn't.  And in my passive-aggressive manner, I have vented but have not solved anything. 

So, if you happen to live in Southeast Wisconsin and want to start a playgroup, please contact me at allergybabe@yahoo.com.  I'm listening!

Nut Free Zone

We just had the Babe tested for several foods based on recent concerns that she may have developed some new allergies.  Ok, recent being over three months ago, but that's how long a wait we had to see the allergist.  She loves hummus, but we have not had any since January due to an odd cough she started having.  We also began questioning soy again, as well as a few other foods that she hasn't even had.  Fortunately, the results were all negative.  As the allergist said, this means she is 95-98% likely to not be allergic to those foods.  We have to actually food challenge her at home to confirm.  Today, much to the Babe's delight, she had hummus again. 

One of the foods we tested at the allergist's was peaches, which raised the question as to other stone fruit.  As such, they tested several other fruits, and included almonds in the mix.  She's tested negative before to almonds, but we haven't ever fed her any.  Same for tree nuts.  My husband and I were discussing this, and I mentioned that I'd prefer to keep our home nut free in case we were ever to have a guest with peanut allergies.  The smallest residue could be hazardous, and while I may keep a clean house, I'd be afraid for that one.  He indicated that we should remain completely nut free.  So, our house will continue to be peanut and nut free.  While I will not buy actual nut products, I have bought some items made in a facility with tree nuts, but only if its something that gets heated through in baking.  Specifically, the flax seed I buy is manufactured in a facility with tree nuts.  As such, I will have to be vigilant should we have a guest with such allergies.  Although a hazard, it is a much smaller hazard and should hopefully be one that is easier to control.  In the meantime, if I have an urge to get nutty, I'll get my fix elsewhere (as I already do for that, and all her other allergens).

Being Aware

How aware are you of your environment when you are out shopping?  This isn't about public safety, and watching your purse.  This is about noticing little details that could add up to a different kind of danger, at least in our household. 

Its amazing how many people eat where they work, or prefer scented products better meant for the home then the office.  When I was in college, I worked in a hospital as a receptionist for a medical department.  I opted not to wear perfumes, because if you were sick, I felt you didn't want to be overcome by any cloying perfume that you might not like or might be allergic to.  At one of our ER visits with the Babe, the triage nurse was eating food at her desk while working with us, and the foods were one's the Babe is allergic to.  I wanted to scream at her, but kept my mouth shut.  Fortunately nothing happened from that, but I know better now.

In more recent months, I've had to be more assertive while out shopping.  About a month ago, I had gone to a local general store to see what they had.  Someone I know had talked up the store and I was curious.  This was a business that has been in the town we live for decades, and sold general merchandise befitting a general store from fifty years ago (selling notions and household goods).  I figured it would be too tempting for the Babe (as in grabbing everything in sight), so I found a time when I could go by myself.  What I didn't expect was to see a small popcorn machine in the center of the store.  I noticed it the minute I walked in, but then ignored it while I walked around.  I found a little puzzle/sticker toy for the Babe, and that was my only purchase.  When I got to the front of the store to buy it, the sales clerk walked away from what she was doing to ring me up.  Suddenly I was internally debating what to do, because said sales clerk looked like she was just servicing the popcorn machine.  Would it be rude to ask?  Well, my child's safety usurps rude.  She was in fact restocking it and did have her hands in it.  I explained why I asked, and she offered to wash her hands.  We worked it out so that she didn't have to touch anything since I paid with exact cash, and opted not to have a bag or receipt.  When I got home, I unwrapped the outer wrapping on the item and washed my hands, figuring whoever stocked the item on the shelf may have handled other items.  I walked away from that store with a dirty feeling, so I won't be returning.  But I know I did the right thing by asking.

Another instance was at the grocery store.  I got in a line that had a new cashier, and I was her first customer.  Before she did anything, she grabbed her bottle of hand lotion (strawberry scented), and proceeded to grease up her hands.  Well, I immediately went on alert, because at the time we weren't sure if the Babe was allergic to strawberries, and who knows what else may have been in that lotion.  Since I was getting one item, the clerk was nice enough to let me scan it myself.  I used a credit card, bagged the item myself, and skipped the receipt.  Yes, I sound completely paranoid.  However, I cannot risk the Babe coming into contact with even the smallest amount of her allergens.  So, I must remain vigilant.  My husband got to experience this with me last weekend while grocery shopping.  The person ahead of us had a bag of pet food break open and spill some product along the bagging area.  The cashier didn't do anything, leaving the mess there as she was about to ring us up.  We requested, nicely, that she clean up the pet food.  She grabbed her bottle of cleaner and paper towels and took care of it without comment.  Had she not, I don't know what we would have done.  I cringed at the thought of our groceries touching what I knew was unsafe for us, and then transferring it onto our kitchen shelves and fridge.  Fortunately, it got taken care of without fuss.

While initially worrying about being rude or insulting, we're doing what we need to protect our child.  In each instance, the people we dealt with didn't make a fuss or big deal about it.  We were polite in our requests, which probably helped.  In the end, I can always walk away from the purchase or store.  However, with minor adjustments, remaining polite and pleasant, most people will cooperate.  They may not understand or get it, but that isn't what I need to accomplish during my minute interaction with them.  So, while it would be easier to flip through a magazine while waiting in a grocery store line, I opt to see what's happening in front of me.  In part, I'm just nosy, but also, I don't want any surprises when I get home.

Just the Three of Us

Passover is almost here, once again. During the Passover Seder, four questions are asked, including, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” In our allergy house, every night is different. Well, not to our little one who hasn’t experienced otherwise. The way we live is normal to her because she knows not what she misses (except from what she sees on children’s television programming).

There are many traditional foods for Passover. I love them all, yet most are dangerous to the Babe. Being allergic to wheat, eggs, dairy, fish, and coconut excludes many of the traditional foods like: Matza, hard boiled eggs, gefilte fish, and macaroons. Without matza or eggs, there are no matza balls. And not the traditional harosets of apples, raisins and walnuts since she tested allergic to apples recently and we avoid all nuts.  We will eat, we won’t starve, but it won’t be like it once was.

The Seder is supposed to be filled with noise, song, family and friends. For us, it will just be the three of us. While we were going to be alone the first night, our guests for the second night cancelled due to the Babe’s most recent illness. So when you wonder what its like to live with food allergies, besides being stressful, its also very isolating. My daughter is very social, would love to play and talk to just about anyone and everyone. She’s precocious, bright, very verbal, and very cute. And she’s lonely. She asks for her friends and family, but they all have things to do, like school, or living a distance away. And while our schedule is clear, and gas money isn’t an issue, we cannot go to them. It is just us. So this year, an added answer to why the night of the Seder is different, it will be because it will just be the three of us. We have had two years living with allergies to adjust to that concept. It is just the three of us.

To Con, Coerce and Cajole

How to Con, Coerce, and Cajole.  That sounds like it should be the title of a book were I to write one now.  After another series of medical issues including allergy, asthma, and illness, all at once, its been a challenge to get the Babe to take medicine.  The first "incident" had us debating whether she had an allergic reaction or was sick.  Two days later we took her to her pediatrician when she seemed to be getting sicker, whereupon her doctor diagnosed both an allergic reaction and asthma attack.  Now we have a nebulizer at home.  When that wasn't fully resolving her breathing issues, we took her to the ER that same night, only to find out she also has a virus.  The medication regime her physician started is the same, but we are still trying to get the Babe to take an oral steroid that apparently is horrible to taste, in addition to using the nebulizer. 

While in the pediatrician's office, she had her first nebulizer treatment of the day.  It took the Babe's father, myself, and a very nice nurse to get her to have her treatment in the office.  So, how did we get her to take it at home?  It came with a cute fishy mask, and somehow, with stickers and enough distraction, she participated.  By her second round, she was even willing to hold the mask up to her face by herself. 

That is one hurdle currently tackled.  Next came the steroid.  Even cut with apple juice, she still can taste the medication.  So, I tried to come up with a drinking song appropriate for a three-year-old (not that I know any inappropriate drinking songs).  Then came counting...a television program...and assorted bribes.  She had about one-third of her dose during the course of a half hour program, but still has a lot more to take.  More bribes to come.

And lastly, despite spending the majority of our hospital visit crying to go home, she did have a few gems.  My proudest was when the young radiology tech came to get her, he asked if she could spell her last name.  She was able to spell her first and last name for him.  While she wasn't in the best of moods or feeling very well, she could still tell stories to the triage nurses and let everyone know exactly what she wanted and what she most definitely did not want.  Today, while still recovering, she is very happy, even dancing on occasion to music on t.v.  Eventually things may go back to normal...whatever that is.

Vitamin C

Today the Babe is sick.  She has a runny, drippy nose, and has gone through a significant amount of Kleenex.  As a result, I have chicken soup cooking in the crockpot for dinner.  We are staying indoors most of the day.  Well, we did go out for a little bit because the Babe got a brand new bicycle yesterday.  It is purple, her favorite color, and she has a blue, pink and heart decorated helmet.  My child does not shy away from color or patterns.

As it is very cold out today, we couldn't stay outside too long.  I needed something to tempt her away from her new bicycle.  Oranges!  How do you distract a three year old from a bicycle with oranges?  We made fresh orange juice.  Not only was it an activity, but it got some much needed vitamin C into her system.  We used a citrus juicer that rests over a cup, and manually twisted and squeezed out juice.  It was fun and delicious.  Now, time to snuggle on the couch with more Kleenex and juice.

My Little Apple

The Babe is a bossy little thing. She does not grasp that adults are not meant to be told what to do by a three year old. She on occasion even has the stance with a hand on one hip and the other hip jutted out.

We have been having some gorgeous, unseasonably warm spring days here, which means more outdoor play. The other day an older gentleman passed by our home while taking a walk. Our street does not have sidewalks, so he was walking along the curb. The Babe immediately said how he shouldn’t be walking on the street. Luckily, it wasn’t shouted at him (the Babe is not shy, and has no issue shouting hello to people a half a block away). I informed the Babe that, one, without sidewalks that is the only place to walk. Two, he was being careful. And most importantly, three, he is an adult, and can make these decisions. Children do not direct adults, adults direct children. I suspect this will be our new mantra. She needs to learn this lesson, and it will probably take a while for it to set in. While we may laugh and think it’s cute now, it will mean trouble in the future if not addressed now.

For anyone who knows me, they are probably laughing because this problem would of course develop in my child. Why? Because I was a know-it-all (yes, I probably still am), and either asked really embarrassing questions without realizing it (can we say “precocious”?), or told people how things should be done. Sounds very familiar right now. Guess the apple really doesn’t fall very far from the tree.

Who's That?

The Babe really likes to play with other people. She is not big on playing by herself. She’s an only child. This means Mommy is always called for, even if she’s doing something that could be done alone. She recently got a new toy- a very cool cash register that seems to have all the bells and whistles. Well, no whistles, but a movable conveyor belt and calculator. I don’t mind going to the store, but I really don’t want to play shop all day long. So after the first hour of having this toy, I suggested she play with Sasha. No, not her real life friend Sasha. Her imaginary friend Sasha (name the Babe picked). If she’s going to claim to have an imaginary friend, I’m going to take advantage of it. Sure enough the Babe went with it, and played nicely. Amazing how there are no fights for toys or who goes first when played with an imaginary friend. While I’d like her to play more with real friends (sadly, they’re all in school or living in other states), I’ll take the break provided by “Sasha”.

Thoughtless Act

As I previously mentioned, we got to hear an author living with food allergies speak at a meeting for parents’ of children with food allergies. First, I recommend the book. Its an interesting insight into food allergies. However, there was one thing that struck me while we sat at this meeting. Before it started, the meeting leader (a founder of this mother’s group) introduced a couple who were plugging their new product. It was for nut-free cookies, made in a nut-free facility, to be sold in individual packages or in raw form for schools and other food service providers. They provided wrapped samples. Here’s what got me. While nut free, the cookies had other ingredients that the speaker was known to be allergic to. Did the meeting leader suggest people refrain from eating the cookies until after the meeting? No! I was stunned, and upset for the speaker. The speaker did not comment, although was paying attention to the presentation. I guess she was so used to this, that she just let it go. I really wanted to say something, but I haven’t been to enough meetings. My husband and I abstained from the cookies, but all I could think of was how thoughtless and rude they were to their guest speaker, especially from a group who fight for their children over this very issue.

Living an Allergic Life

There hasn't been much to write about lately since our routine has been pretty static.  The Babe still comes up with great lines, and is as always, entertaining.  However, day-to-day isn't particularly exciting lately.  Spring will be here soon, and maybe that will wake me up a bit.

In the meantime, my husband and I had the opportunity to hear an author speak.  The fact that my husband attended is a big deal, since his work right now is extremely time-consuming, and the Babe frequently mentions how she misses her Daddy, since he frequently arrives home from work either after she's asleep, or within an hour of her bed-time. 

We heard Sandra Beasley speak at a MOCHA meeting.  She is the author of, "Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales From an Allergic Life".  She is an adult who grew up with, and still lives with, several major food allergies.  The book is part memoir, part social and scientific discussion of food allergies.  What was so great about this is she gives first-hand descriptions of what her life is like, navigating through social and educational situations, with her allergies.  Its a look into what our child's future may be like if she doesn't out-grow her allergies. 

Sandra is a bright, articulate, attractive, positive person.  She just so happens to have food allergies.  It has not stopped her from obtaining a college degree, living on campus, traveling, and working.  She did not do these things without significant allergic reactions, but she did not and apparently does not let food allergies stop her from living as normal a life as possible. 

We walked away from the discussion with some added insights and things to keep in mind for our little one's future.  While we pray she outgrows her food allergies, we know one day with or without allergies she will be out in the real world navigating it on her own.  For now, we will hover, protect, and proceed to provide her as safe an environment as we possibly can.  In the end though, she will be the one who has to recognize what's safe and what's not for herself, and how to respond appropriately.

Click!

After I had just hung up the phone during a brief conversation, the Babe immediately said, "I want to talk, I want to talk!".  She immediately followed that with, "who was that?". 

My little social butterfly loves the phone.  We let her chat while its on speakerphone, but she also loves to hang up on people when her end of the conversation is done.  No warning, no goodbye, no hint that she is done, just click.  So, to fulfill her curiosity, I called the person back, and after hearing the person answer on the other end, she happily announced, "Oh, Hi Daddy!"

My Little Ham

My daughter loves to perform.  Today she entertained a car dealership and their service department.  No, she was not hired (although, hmmm, we do have college to pay for one day).  She gave it away for free. 

I went in for an oil change, and was dreading how I was going to keep her busy and out of things.  I brought with stickers, a coloring book and crayons.  When we walked into the service department, one of the sales people was there who immediately was drawn to the Babe.  She had played with the Babe when we purchased the car a few months back, too.  So she took the Babe on a tour (ok, just showed her the shop where the cars go).  Then told her to come by her desk when the Babe was done with her coloring.  So, as fast as she could, the Babe put together a picture of stickers and blue crayon, and insisted we had to find the lady.  The dealership is actually three in one, so we went all the way to the other side, and spent time with this woman who looked to thoroughly enjoy playing and chatting with my three-year old (and made sure to get the Babe a brand new, bright yellow balloon).  Then we spent time with our actual salesperson.  The Babe then showed him, his boss, and the lady her "tap dance", as well as her statue pose. 

The Babe has come up with her version of tap, and let me just say, its pretty good for someone who hasn't had any lessons.  When she finishes, she throws her arms out in a flourish, and goes, "ta da"!  She then showed off her statue pose, where she throws one arm up and the other tilted down, leg to the side, and mouth puckered, and freezes.  Its adorable, and always good for a laugh.  So, after this, she ran a race with our salesman.  Once that was done, our car was ready.  So, with the lady in the lead, we returned to the service department.  While I paid the bill, the Babe then performed for the service department.  Everyone got a laugh, the Babe had a blast, and waiting for service on my car while with the Babe wasn't torture.

Slow poke

Today we went to Trader Joe's. Although the first thing the Babe told me after waking up this morning was that we were going there, it somehow took 3 hours to make that happen.  She kept dragging her feet, coming up with something else she needed or had to do (put on play jewelry, get multiple barrettes, watch a show, drink a drink, dance a dance, etc. etc.).  So once we got in the car, and were about five minute from home, she asked for a video.  Well, the ride only takes 30-35 minutes, so we didn't take with the portable DVD player.  We must turn back, she demanded.  Uh, no.  A minute or two later when she realized she wasn't going to get her way, she told us she left her imaginary friend at home so we had to go back.  First, she doesn't have an imaginary friend.  Second, the solution was in my lap.  No, really.  I told her that she didn't see that her imaginary friend was sitting in my lap, so I passed her back to the Babe.  Initial problem solved. 

After taking care of business at the store, the Babe usually gets some stickers from the checkout clerk.  These usually get put on her carseat within the first few minutes of the ride.  Nope, a few minutes on the expressway she tells my husband he must stop the car.  Why?  So she could do her stickers.  Whether the car is moving or not does not effect her ability to unstick and restick stickers.  And no, we really didn't want to stop in the middle of an expressway while other cars were going 60-70 mph.  So we kept on moving, and made it home without further incident. 

Going "Nuts"!

We just got back from a short visit to Papa and Gram's in Florida.  No, not bragging, because sunny Florida was not hot Florida.  And we had some added stress with the Babe.  We actually are waiting to see her allergist to test for some possibly new allergies.  I booked her appointment back in January for his first available appointment which is mid April.  The Babe loves hummus, but we suspect she may have developed an allergy to it, and possibly soy as well.  Do you see a relationship?  The two are part of the legume family.  What else is a legume?  Peanuts, green beans, and other beans.  Flying isn't easy with a food allergic child, but as long as she's not reactive to airborne foods, then its possible.  However, there is a greater risk of airborne reactions when the allergy involves peanuts.

The airline we flew actually had a drop down screen when booking tickets asking if the passenger had a peanut allergy.  We thought that meant they might be more allergy friendly/conscious because of it.  Clearly we were mistaken.  Granted, we got there safely, and got home safely.  On our outbound flight, they made an announcement at the start of the flight requesting passengers to please refrain from eating peanuts due to a passenger with severe peanut allergies.  That doesn't mean people couldn't eat them, but it was a nice request.  So on our second trip to go to the bathroom with the Babe, we passed the stewardesses sitting in the jump seats just in front of the restroom.  I looked down and saw a wrapper on the floor under one of their seats.  It was Emerald brand snacks, for peanut butter chocolate banana.  And the top portion of the wrapper was still in the lap of the stewardess, so clearly it was hers.  Ahem.  Peanuts= peanut butter. 

On our flight home they offered to make the announcement, but somehow forgot.  Didn't matter, because while they were still boarding the plane, the gentleman directly in front of us was eating a snack cracker with peanut butter in the middle, and across the aisle from him was someone with a Nutter Butter cookie.  And in flight across the aisle from us was a gentleman who was eating peanut butter M & Ms.  I don't know how anyone who has a high peanut allergy could possibly fly.  Again, we made it home just fine.  But the stress level of sitting in a locked compartment surrounded by the equivalent of loaded weapons does not make for a comfortable trip.