Long, dark winter

Its been a long, dark winter, and spring has not been much better.  I haven't written much in a while, because although the Babe has been doing well with school and other things, we've had a cloud over our house.  There has been family illness, as well as major changes with my husband's employer.

Two weeks ago today we lost my husband's mother.  There is so much to say about her that I cannot capture how truly wonderful a person she was.  I was blessed to have a warm, loving, generous mother-in-law.  Sadly, it was not for long enough.  She died too young, at the age of 63.  While I cannot go into the details, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer less than six months ago, that at that point was rapidly metastasizing.  While there was hope, we also were very realistic.  Reality still cannot prepare you for such a loss.

The Babe understands, but we aren't sure how much.  She knows her Gram is gone.  I think when she sees her grandfather she will feel the loss even more, because Papa and Gram go together. 

My mother-in-law always put family first.  Her parents, her husband, her children, and granddaughter were the most important people in her life.  As she was eulogized, she had many friends, but she chose quality over quantity.  While I know I was an in-law, she also took my interests to heart.  Many times she would take my side in a discussion with her son, whether it was joking or serious.  In fact, there will no longer be those chats where I start off with, "Well your son did...", to which she'd counter with, "Well your husband...".  She was fun, and we had a lot of laughs. 

Not to discount my sister-in-law or my husband, but I think one of her greatest joys was my daughter.  She was thrilled to be a grandmother.  The hardest part was probably not being able to see her every day due to geography.  We did Facetime often, and she could see my daughter dance or wear interesting patterned clothing combinations.  She always had something for my daughter.  There were many things she would have loved to have done with my daughter, that due to allergies or age never happened.  She would have loved to have taken her out for an ice cream cone, or go to Disney World with her.  My daughter is now of an age where Disney is a possibility, but it will be sad for my husband and I if we go without Gram.

I learned many things from my mother-in-law.  She was a gracious host, and had an ease with most people.  Her neighbors were close friends, her friends were extended family.  She always took an interest in others, be it work or extended family.  Even while she was failing, and could barely talk due to a horrible cough, she'd still ask about others. 

Its still hard to fathom her death, that she's not just a phone call away.  However, we must continue to move forward.  For while we mourn, we must not forget to live.  Time cannot not stop.  We will remember, and hopefully, continue to honor her life.  May her memory be a blessing.