My father

My father unintentionally set high standards.  By unintentional, I mean by how he led his life, and just by how he was.  He was kind and nice, with rarely a mean thing to say.  He had a unique sense of humor, and liked to tease- in a nice way. 

By setting a standard, I knew what I wanted in a life partner.  No, I was not a "Daddy's girl", nor was I looking for a replica of my father when I found my husband.  However, things about my father that were worth seeking in others included his willingness to help.  If something needed to be done, he did it.  He was the man who washed sheets and towels, vacuumed, took out the garbage, cleaned the gutters, fixed sockets (which I never liked him dealing with electricity, because sometimes he didn't always think he needed to turn off the power while doing it), and just about whatever he thought he could do.  He learned by watching his father try to fix things.  He learned how to paint a room by watching his father and a family friend (yes, I know anyone can paint, but he always did a very neat, nice job).  Speaking of neat, my father was very neat about his person.  He always carried a nail file in his wallet, and had nicely shaped nails.  He never liked his hair getting too long.  Sometimes though his haircuts might be a tad short because he always enjoyed chatting up his barber.  And he made sure to continue to go to the aging barber so that he had business. 

Growing up, he was the first one up in the house.  He was the one who made oatmeal or scrambled eggs (my mother would have if we waited for her to get up a little later).  He was also the one who dealt with middle of the night stuff.  He made something he called a "guggle muggle" for an upset tummy or bad cough (warmed milk with butter and sugar).  It was initially gross, but then grew on you, and oddly enough, fixed the problem. 

He loved music- to listen to it or sing it.  He sang in choirs off and on for many years.  I remember many Saturday afternoons having records playing.  He would listen to any kind of music, although was fond of opera and classical.  He also enjoyed gardens, gardening, and zoos. 

My father was a high school biology teacher.  During summer break, he would teach in a private school, so that we could afford a nice road trip at the end of summer.  Although my mother would plan visits to museums and historical sights, the best times were the four of us in the hotel pool, or my father sitting poolside with a cigar (a cigar was a very rare thing).

My daughter would like to add her thoughts about her Grandpa.  She remembers him for playing golf in our yard with her little playset.  He showed her a good grip that she still uses.  She remembers going to a few museums with him.  He always loved to watch her build with her blocks, and was amazed at the details.  She loved to perform for him, and he loved to watch.

My daughter remembers snuggling with him on the couch.  I used to do the same.  My Dad was a warm, loving family man.  He will be missed.

Once again...

I don't want to write this.  One week ago tonight we lost my father.  This has been a horrible year for us.  My daughter has lost two beloved grandparents in less than two months time.  My mother has lost her husband, my sister and I have lost our father.  He was a good man, a kind man, an exceptional man.  No one has anything bad to say about him.  Saying much more right now though is hard.

The most important thing to my father was family.  He was a man of faith.  He loved to sing.  He loved to teach.  He loved photography and nature.  Nothing made him happier though then spending time with my mother, my sister, myself, or his grandchildren. 

Now, we have to learn to live with another gap in our family tree.  My husband and I should not have to sympathize with each other based on first-hand experience, but we do.  We are both raw from our mutual losses.  Hopefully the Babe can remember her grandparents well, with love and happy memories.  She is only five, but right now has an amazing memory.  I hope that helps her as she grows, she does not forget.  Another day I will try to post happier thoughts.  Right now though I will go and quietly reflect.