Crazy!

While returning to my car after grocery shopping with the Babe, a man approached us in the parking lot.  It was the middle of a bright sunny day, so not overly threatening.  He had a clipboard in hand, and was seeking signatures on a petition so he could run for Congress.  I asked what his party affiliation was, and based on his response, declined to sign.  He walked away, and when he was a few rows a way, the Babe told me, "That man is crazy!".  I laughed, and said perhaps.  Then, got her in the car and put my groceries in the trunk.  A minute or two later, she elaborated, and said how he didn't talk to her, only to me.  Then she repeated, "That man was crazy, he didn't talk to me, only you."  So, the first part of her statement alone was hilarious.  The second addition reflects that she thinks she's an adult, or at the very least, a teenager.  Of course, how could anyone ignore her?!

Touche!

The Babe has gotten into drawing and then hanging her pictures on the refrigerator...even if its only one little swirl of color.  Just as dinner was about on the table, she decided to do this with the edged sticker remnants from a page of stickers in lieu of tape.  I went to get her a glass of water with a little bit of crushed ice.  She was kneeling in front of the refrigerator door (ice maker is on the opposite door).  A little ice chip might have flown by, when she told me one shouldn't get ice when others are sticking things on the door.  I told her that a little ice wouldn't hurt anyone.  She then responded (with the proper intonation), "Touche'!"  I have no idea where she learned that, but the context was correct.  My funny, little girl.

We Won't Starve

Here's a funny quirk.  When we learned of the Babe's food allergies, I had to immediately go on her diet since I was still nursing.  It resulted in a rapid weight loss, dropping more than just those last stubborn baby-weight pounds.  That seemed to be the only positive at the time of her diagnosis.  It also took food allergies to make me learn to become a better cook and baker.  That in turn resulted in some weight gain (and then some more weight gain).   

Everyone who hears about the Babe's food allergies comments on how much healthier we must eat.  Most everything is not processed, we eat more fruits and veggies, etc.  Yepp.  Healthier when you 1) eat the proper portion sizes, 2) exercise regularly, and 3) avoid potato chips at all costs.  We sacrifice a lot for food allergies, but eating isn't one of those things.  We eat better, we're definitely more aware of what we're eating, but alas, that has not been converted to model figures.  And as I previously posted, just because we have to give up certain foods, it does not mean we have to give up flavor.  Tonight's dinner was spaghetti and meatballs.  Tomorrow's lunch with guests will probably be an Asian chicken stir-fry with rice, and chocolate cupcakes, and dinner a curried beef.  Nope, we won't starve.

What's Cooking?

For those who are new to food allergies, figuring out what your going to eat, or if you're ever going to eat again, can be overwhelming.  I have a three year old, and we've been living with her food allergies for more than two years.  Initially, you start with just fruits, vegetables and proteins that you know are safe, with little variation, and little added flavoring.  Then you begin to explore. 

I'd probably explore more, but for two factors.  First, I have a three year old.  She likes to eat the same thing every day for lunch and breakfast (or lunch as she also calls that meal based on what she eats, not the time of day).  Dinner is where we have variety, although its a safe variety.  She's not big into sauces and gravies, although just recently developed an interest in ketchup and tomato sauce.  So, while her palate and  preferences are limited, I do try to go beyond that on occasion.  My second reason why I haven't branched out too far is I'm just plain old chicken.  If she hasn't had it already, I dread giving her something new.  Just like a criminal trial- innocent until proven guilty- I need to retrain my mind that she's not allergic to a food until there's evidence.  But its hard to tell my blood pressure that when trying to introduce something new.

So what do we eat around here?  Chicken, beef, corn-based pastas, potatos, rice, quinoa, carrots, onions, broccolli, cauliflower, squash, melon, apples, pears, and the list goes on.  The other day I made bourbon chicken with rice.  It was delicious, although the Babe wasn't a fan.  Just because we can't eat wheat, eggs, or dairy, I still bake cookies, muffins, cupcakes, and pancakes.  I have a lot of cookbooks and websites I reference in searching for new foods.  We eat foods with Asian and Mediterranean influences, as well as other cultural influences.  I season with garlic, sage, rosemary, thyme, bay leaves, lemon, lime, tamari (gluten-free soy sauce), and more.  Just because there are several foods we can't eat, there are many more we can.  We don't have to eat tasteless, bland, boring meals.  If we do, its not due to food allergies.  Its due to me being too tired or bored to change it up, just like every other home cook in America.

I'm allergic to that...

The Babe catches on pretty fast.  She knows how to wrap us around her little finger, and has improved her technique recently.  Specifically, when offered something she apparently does not want to eat, she says in a very serious voice, "I'm allergic to that; I have food allergies".  She will then shrug her shoulders and wander off.  While, yes, she does have food allergies, she is declining food she is not allergic to, she just doesn't want it.  Apparently she thinks that's the magic phrase to get her out of eating something she doesn't want.  We generally don't force her to eat, but when she's not cooperating, we do try to cajole or threaten (nothing bad, well, except to a 3 year old, when you tell them no more t.v.). 

So, while we feel a lot of guilt and let her get away with a lot of things due to her food allergies, she's figured out how to manipulate us further.  We're working on behavior modification with several things (sleeping the night through in her own bed, picking up her toys by herself, etc. etc.).  It seems to have reached a point where I've realized that she's an only child isolated by food allergies who isn't used to the word "no" being strongly enforced.  I don't want to create a little monster that other kids don't want to play with, who doesn't know how to share or take turns, or is just rude or stubborn when she doesn't get things her way.  Its a challenge because most of the time its just us, so of course she doesn't have to share her toys (no, really, I don't want to play all the time).  So, yes, we're definitely a work in progress.

Playgroup

Last year when we went to the allergist, I had considered asking about starting a local playgroup for area allergy families.  I didn't have the opportunity to bring it up, but at our last visit, I was able to.  As a family friend suggested, maybe we could even start our own pre-school for our little Allergy Babes.  So, with those two ideas, I asked our allergist if he would be willing to mention to other families with similar situations.  I wasn't asking him to violate HIPPA (privacy laws).  I was willing to waive it personally only to the extent that he give out my name and email.  He looked moderately interested, so we agreed I'd give my info to his front desk staff.  I wrote a note indicating that I wanted to start a play-group or playdates for children with food allergies between the ages of 3-5. 

Its been two weeks, and I just got a call from the nutritionist.  She heard I was looking for information on pre-schools and playgroups in the area.  Glad they listened so carefully.  Even worse, she asked if I was aware of FAAN or needed the name of other support groups that might be able to refer me out.  That is the problem.  First, every allergist we've dealt with immediately tell us about FAAN.  Secondly, I can only find support groups for parents, with limited meetings.  There aren't too many resources to actually help beyond telling me what foods to avoid and possible recipes within our allergies.  I'm finding that the allergy medical community only goes so far.  They don't really get what living with food allergies is like.  They may understand the clinical, but the day-to-day lifestyle seems to be beyond their grasp. 

Finally, let me add to my rant.  As an attorney, we are taught to ask questions.  If the question is not answered, ask again or re-word.  The key though is to listen.  Don't talk over someone, don't assume, and certainly just because someone responded does not mean they answered what you asked.  And here's the problem with our allergist's office.  They only heard what they wanted to, only provided help how they knew how, and now they probably think they answered my questions and can walk away.  Thanks for nothing.  You think you helped, but you didn't.  And in my passive-aggressive manner, I have vented but have not solved anything. 

So, if you happen to live in Southeast Wisconsin and want to start a playgroup, please contact me at allergybabe@yahoo.com.  I'm listening!