Saying Goodbye

Over the past few days I've had to figure out how to explain some difficult news for the Babe.  My husband's grandmother passed away, and his initial response was not to explain it to the Babe.  I didn't think that was fair, even if the Babe didn't know her well.  His grandmother lived on the East Coast, and we had been to visit once before the Babe's allergy diagnosis.  Since then, although we've discussed it numerous times, the Babe and I have not made it back due to the Babe's allergies and asthma.  We talk to her about family there, and we've done Skype a few times so she knows who, and has seen, her Great-Grandma Jo.  However, there isn't as much of a tangible connection for her. 

So, how do you explain death to a four-year-old?  I first explained how Daddy, Papa and Gram were all sad right now.  Then I explained that she won't be able to see Great-Grandma Jo again.  I think by my second or third attempt I used the words "death" and "funeral", but very lightly.  I don't want her to think that if someone goes away, its necessarily permanent, or that if someone gets sick or is old, they will die.  So for now, we will focus on being sad, and one particular person being gone.  While she and I can't say our goodbye's in person, we'll be thinking of family while everyone else is gathered to say their goodbyes.